Today: April 17, 2024


A mixed bag of city-dwelling

A mixed bag of city-dwelling, young offenders and their two adult social
workers venture onto the wild
, desolate moors of Yorkshire for a weekend of
character-building community service near the small, insular village of Mortlake. In Mortlake, the locals keep themselves
to themselves, quite literally; the gene pool is barely ankle deep.

But when two of the urban teenagers have a run-in with some
goat-torturing locals, events soon escalate and before you can say “You ain’t from around here, are you boy?”
the inbred villagers are rounding up the outsiders and forcing them into
playing starring roles in the village ‘show’ – a perverse Grand Guignol
spectacle where they are tortured to death in horrifically cartoonish fashion
for the delight of the filthy, braying crowd of toothless, mutant,

It’s hard to find the words to adequately describe writer/director Alex Chandon’s horror/comedy Inbred.

Immature, nasty, puerile shite are four pretty accurate and obvious ones

Yorkshire may have given the world The
Yorkshire Ripper
and The Crossbow
but it also gave us The Brontës, William Wilberforce, Ted Hughes and Alan Bennett, not to mention old men
going downhill in baths in Last Of The
Summer Wine
, though you wouldn’t know it watching Inbred. A repugnant,
low-budget wallow in the shallows of pedestrian depravity, Inbred is finally getting a release after screening at the last two
FrightFests and spending the year in between appearing at cult horror and
fantasy film festivals around the world.
Something of a cult figure on the horror circuit, Chandon’s last feature
was 2001’s Cradle Of Fear, a
tedious, childishly gory slog notable for featuring a scene where Goth midget (gothget?) Dani Filth (lead singer of black metal band Cradle Of Filth) rips the head off FilmJuice contributor Sean
(it’s in the first five minutes and he’s playing one of the oldest
junkie muggers in history if you’re interested).

In the decade since, Chandon’s plied his trade directing music videos
and creating digital effects. And,
judging by Inbred, obsessively
watching every second of The League Of
to such an extent that when the townies walk into the
‘hilariously’ named village pub The Dirty
(yup folks, that’s one of Inbred’s
more sophisticated instances of comedy gold) you expect the residents of
Royston Vasey to be propping up the bar and for Tubbs and Edward to warn the
outsiders that it’s a local pub for local people. The leader of the villagers even dresses like terrifying
black-and-white minstrel Papa Lazarou!
Unfortunately, Chandon’s film is neither as funny nor as scary, lacking
the intelligence and perverse dark humour of the cult TV show.

Badly written, badly directed and, for the most part, badly acted, Inbred features practically every
cliché of the inbred yokel sub-genre with the exception of hot, naked, high
school chicks skinny dipping.
While most films are significantly improved by the addition of hot,
naked, high school chicks skinny dipping, their absence here is something of a
relief as Chandon would probably have them flailing through sewage before being
buggered to death with a chainsaw.
With its inbred, racist, animal-torturing, porn-loving, murderous
bumpkins, its misogynistic, over-the-top violence and its faecal fascination, Inbred is trying far too hard to
offend. It’s like someone else’s
giggling three-year-old daughter lifting her skirt to show off her new Dora The Explorer knickers at a party;
you don’t need to see it, you don’t want to see it and it’s not shocking. Though you could be forgiven for
thinking Chandon is something of a coprophiliac as excrement features so
heavily it should probably be on the cast list. Just above Emmerdale’s
vet who features as a chainsaw-wielding halfwit.

Nasty, vicious and childish, one scene serves as a metaphor for the
experience of watching Inbred. One of the teenage chavs is caught by
the villagers. He’s tied to a
chair. He’s made to wear a wig
(practically all the women in the film meet nasty ends and the male teenagers
who feature in the village ‘show’ are feminised by being made to wear wigs and
women’s clothing. Make of that
what you will…). He’s presented to
the hooting audience. He then has
a hose shoved into his mouth and is pumped full of animal slurry until he
explodes, showering the cheering crowd with blood, guts and shit. Do ya get it? Do ya? You’re both the audience and the victim and Chandon wants you to
gargle his shit.

Cynical, violent, unsubtle and unfunny, Inbred is the masturbatory fantasy of a teenage shit

David Watson

David Watson is a screenwriter, journalist and 'manny' who, depending on time of day and alcohol intake could be described as a likeable misanthrope or a carnaptious bampot. He loves about 96% of you but there's at least 4% he'd definitely eat in the event of a plane crash. Email:

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