Today: April 20, 2024

Faces In The Crowd

By Shelley Marsden – Never before has a film so eloquently displayed all the ingredients necessary for the “straight to DVD” category.

Never before has a
film so eloquently displayed all the ingredients necessary for the “straight to
DVD” category.
Faces In the Crowd is a painstakingly slow-moving ‘thriller’
in which Milla Jovovich plays primary
school teacher Anna (complete with dowdy long skirt).

Following
a near miss on her way home one night with a serial killer known as ‘Tearjerk
Jack’, she develops a condition called prosopagnosia, or face blindness. It
means she can’t recognise people’s faces – not even that of her long-term
boyfriend, Brice. Jeez, he could be the killer for all we know!

Anna
can’t identify the man that almost sent her to meet her maker, and so a very
childish cat and mouse game begins as she tries other ways of living with her
confusing condition – though, as one of her friends, a Samatha in Sex and the City wanabee points out, it
certainly makes for some fun in the bedroom department. Quite.

It
would be mean-spirited to go into any great detail about why this film doesn’t
work. Firstly we’d be here all day and secondly, if you ignore its glaring
ineptitude on every level, it’s actually fun.

Get beyond the formulaic plot and
the hilarious fake tan and painted-on eyebrows of Julian McMahon who plays the gruff ‘good cop’ (but resembles a 70s
porn star), it’s a giggle. He’s unrecognisable as the guy from Nip/Tuck. Quite
incredible.

As
for Milla Jovovich, she couldn’t add depth to a role if Tearjerk Jack had her duck-taped
to a chair and her life depended on it. She may have looked cool as Leeloo in The Fifth Element, but Luc Besson is no fool – she was playing
a ROBOT.

One can only hope Magnat was on
some kind of psychedelic substance when he came up with this – your average
episode of ‘Colombo’ is more believable.

Previous Story

Cell 211

Next Story

Troll Hunter DVD

Latest from Blog

Memory

Memory (2023)

Memory is an exquisite American drama in the tender embrace of Michel Franco’s cinematic prowess.

The Holdovers Unboxing

In any other year, Alexander Payne’s The Holdovers would’ve swept the Academy Awards. But awards be damned. This gentle, poignant comedy is destined for classic status and will surely become a festive

Queen Rock Montreal Unboxing

Love ‘em or hate ‘em, Queen remains one of the biggest and most influential rock bands in music history. This year saw their iconic 1981 Montreal concert film unleashed for the first

Banff Mountain Film Festival Tour

Thrilling adventure on the big screen! 2024 UK & Ireland Tour The Banff Mountain Film Festival is bringing thrilling new adventure films to the big screen at venues around the UK and

Kind Hearts & Coronets

75 years after its release, StudioCanal’s crisp and bright 4K UHD restoration makes the prefect gift to mark the film’s Anniversary and the lasting legacy of the Ealing Comedy. Kind Hearts &
Go toTop